A Day at a Time
by KowaiNoOuji
Summary: Collection of drabbles dedicated to the day-to-day experiences of Shizuo and Izaya.
1. Smoke & Mirrors

**Smoke & Mirrors**

The overwhelming stench of cigarette smoke was what roused Izaya from his sleep. It was a smell that he had grown accustomed to over years of being around a certain someone.

At the moment he just so happened to be wrapped around that someone, bare arms and legs flung every which way over a warm, hard body. A body that was currently exhaling a stream of poison into his face.

Fully awake and entirely annoyed, Izaya fanned his hand to disperse the cloud of toxins. "Smoking is disgusting, Shizu-chan."

"Yeah, well you think a lot about me is disgusting, and yet here you are," the blonde responded coolly, reaching over his head and crushing his cigarette into the ashtray on the bedside table.

Izaya sighed, eyes closing like a contented housecat as he settled back into a comfortable half-sleep. He could've damn near purred as Shizuo began brushing his bangs away from his forehead before letting them fall back, then repeating the action.

"It's bad for your skin, ne."

"Like I give a shit about my skin."

"Well, unlike Shizu-chan, I don't plan on having premature wrinkles because of your filthy habit." Smiling softly, Izaya mused, "Ne, unless it's your plan to kill me slowly by giving me lung cancer."

Ignoring the last part, Shizuo muttered, "You care way too damn much about how you look."

"Appearance is important, ne? Humans tend to treat attractive people better. My job will be a lot more difficult if I were to become ugly."

Looking at the raven-haired man lying beside him, it was hard for Shizuo to conjure up an image of an old, wrinkly flea. Neither of them were anywhere near old, but Izaya didn't look like he'd changed at all since high school. He released a small laugh. "_You?_ You could breathe my cigarette smoke for the next hundred years and you'd still look like…" he made some confused gesture with his hand that went unnoticed, "_this_."

Eyes opening, Izaya settled a playful gaze on his favorite monster. "Is that protozoan for 'I think you're pretty', Shizu-chan?"

The smile that stretched across Shizuo's face as he settled down next to Izaya was radiant in its honesty, and Izaya felt his stomach flutter as the blonde leaned in to nuzzle his neck. "Amongst other things, yeah."

Closing his eyes and enjoying the fresher smell of shampoo as he turned his nose into gold hair, Izaya murmured, "Makes you wonder how someone like me is with someone as hideous as Shizu-chan, ne?"

The chuckle against his skin was hot and breathy. "Yeah, but asking why is just gonna piss me off."

"Hn," Izaya grinned mischievously, mouth moving to hover near Shizuo's ear. "Well, it's definitely not because I like you."

Mouth brushing pale collarbones, hands gliding over soft warm skin, Shizuo smirked against the heartbeat thrumming passionately beneath his lips. "Never even crossed my mind."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hello! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this a little as it's my very first time ever writing for Shizaya. I've always loved this pairing, but they're a little intimidating to write for. I hope I can do them justice. Please review if you have the time, even if it's just to say 'cool' (or 'it sucks...'). Feedback is always appreciated, ne~ **Merry**


	2. Preference

**Preference**

"Does Shizu-chan ever wish I were a girl?"

Some odd years and a handful too many later, Shizuo was still not accustomed to Izaya's weird-ass questions. Pulling the cigarette from his lips, he shot the man sitting on the couch beside him a look. "What?"

"Would you prefer it if I were a woman, Shizu-chan?" Really, it wasn't that difficult of a question.

A look crossed Shizuo's face like he was really thinking about it before shaking his head and returning his cigarette to his mouth. "That'd be creepy."

"Rude." Izaya frowned. "I'd be a cute girl, ne. Unlike Shizu-chan who'd have big muscles and shoulders. Not cute at all."

Shizuo shrugged. "So I wouldn't look good in a skirt."

"But doesn't Shizu-chan like boobs? You are a man after all."

"Yeah, well so are you," he argued, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was going. Izaya probably already knew of Shizuo's utter lack of experience with women, but that didn't mean he liked talking about it.

Izaya smiled impishly, a telltale sign that what he was about to say was intentionally supposed to piss Shizuo off. " I forgot. Shizu-chan is more of an _ass_ man, ne."

Shizuo wasn't about to agree, but he wasn't about to disagree either. To be perfectly honest he never really had much of a preference for body parts. Attractive was attractive, and due to lack of personal experience he never had the _opportunity _to really even know if he was more of a chest or ass kind of guy. All he knew for sure was that when the flea wasn't pissing him off and asking him annoying-as-fuck questions, there wasn't one part of him that Shizuo _didn't_ have a preference for. But he'd give up smoking and join the Tokyo ballet before admitting that the only preference he was aware of was any and every part of Izaya Orihara.

"Shut the hell up," the blonde muttered, his usual response to anything the flea had to say.

Enjoying the agitation that was much too apparent on the protozoan's face, Izaya moved to rest his head on strong thighs, smirking when those thighs tensed. "But you know, sticking it in a girl feels different than when you stick it in my ass. And Shizu-chan has never been with anyone but me, ne, so you must be curious."

The sigh that left him was frustrated, this subject tiring for some reason. "Why are you asking me this?"

Izaya's smirk tightened. "Humor me."

Taking a final drag from his cigarette, Shizuo left it in the ashtray and dropped his attention to the man lying on his lap. "I mean, yeah, I guess."

"Hn," Izaya's smile turned knowing. "I bet Shizu-chan likes blondes."

Lazily, Shizuo twirled a lock of soft raven hair around his finger, meeting Izaya's smirk with his own. "Not really."

"Oh? Then tell me, ne," Izaya challenged, "What is Shizu-chan's dream girl?"

"Well, she's skinny and has no ass," his hand moved to flick Izaya's bangs away from his forehead. "But she has a pretty face."

Izaya rolled his eyes. "Of course, ne. And let me guess, she's petite and cute, and cries like a virgin every time you're in bed."

"No," Shizuo refuted with a quiet laugh. "She likes it and isn't shy about it."

Izaya's expression turned wry. "This is some girl from a porn, isn't it? Be serious, ne. I want to know Shizu-chan's type."

"I'm telling you, asshole."

Izaya shook his head, clearly disappointed. "Bad taste."

"The worst," Shizuo agreed.

The two were quiet for a while, when Izaya looked back up at the blonde. "I don't get it." It was difficult for him to admit, as he liked to believe he understood everything about Shizuo, but everything the blonde was saying was the opposite of his expectations.

"Yeah, well I don't get it either," Shizuo sighed. "That's just my type, I guess, even though everything about her pisses me off. Especially that ugly-as-fuck coat."

Shizuo glanced down in time to see sudden awareness flicker across Izaya's face, and he laughed as the flea grit his teeth and diverted his gaze, patches of warm rose blooming under pale skin.

"Shizu-chan is an idiot."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Please review! Also, if you have a Tumblr and would like to follow me, the link is on my profile. Be warned, however, there is lots of BL. **-Merry**


	3. Pervert Control

**Pervert-Control**

It was five o'clock in Tokyo and Izaya Orihara was cursing himself for not considering another mode of transportation as he squeezed his way onto the train that was to take him to the other end of the city. If he weren't getting paid as much as he was for this job, he'd forgo the entire operation. While he loved his humans dearly, that didn't mean he enjoyed feeling them pressed against every side of him.

And it was going to be quite a long ride, and hell if he was going to have some fat man with curious hands behind him the whole way. Either he find a new place to stand, or someone on this train was going to get sliced.

Moving sinuously through the crowd, a true expert at maneuvering capably in the most challenging of situations, Izaya began his journey for the far corner of the cart, the safest and most secluded spot during this time of day when everyone was crowding around the doors.

As he was making his way around an annoyingly pregnant woman, however, a flash of bright gold caught his attention and he paused.

_Shizu-chan?_

Immediately he told himself that there was no way the beast would confine himself to a train during the busiest time of day. The monster liked to put as much distance between himself and the opportunity for harming people as possible. So him being on a packed train, surrounded by perverts, crying children, and sweating flesh didn't seem like the most apt of ideas.

But Shizu-chan was Shizu-chan, which for people who didn't know Izaya-speak, meant he was adorably stupid.

This was prime opportunity for him to tease the protozoan. Already, he was clamoring his way to that side of the train, ignoring the protests of the people he shoved out of the way in the process.

However, just as he was near enough to extend an arm and brush Shizuo's back, he caught sight of the trio of teenage girls clustered next to the blonde, each one of them whispering and glancing shyly up at the debt collector.

_Hn?_ Were these girls…_interested _in his Shizu-chan?

He stopped to observe them, slightly annoyed, but ever-curious. One of them, the prettiest, was nudged eagerly by the other two who were smiling at her encouragingly.

"Go say hi," the tallest urged.

The girl shook her head, blushing furiously, once again glancing at Shizuo, who the whole time seemed totally unaware of the attention he was receiving.

It was all so sickeningly cute. He forgot what it was like for Shizuo when he was outside of Ikebukuro, far from the rumors and the people who knew what a destructive force he was. Outside of that small little world, Shizuo was nothing but a handsome stranger to the people walking by.

Still, who the hell would be interested in a man wearing that ridiculous bartender getup?

"I _can't_," the small girl whined, desperately trying to step away from the man, but her friends just kept pushing her over towards him. One push, however, was a little too forceful and she ended up falling into the blonde's side.

Immediately the hair on Izaya rose, pissed as tiny feminine hands latched onto a white shirtsleeve for support.

Shizuo helped the girl straighten up, coolly asking, "You okay?"

Stepping back towards her friend, she diverted her gaze to the ground, nodding. "Sorry."

"Don't mention it."

Izaya almost smiled at the look of disappointment on the girl's face. What was she expecting? That her falling into him would play out like it did in the movies, and she'd magically end up with his phone number and promise of a date? Hah! If so, she picked the wrong man to lay her expectations on. No woman ever dated Shizuo, he was sure of it, and on more than one occasion, _made sure_ of it.

He had to protect his pretty little humans, ne?

But really, he couldn't _blame_ them for wanting to try. Shizuo was beautiful when he wasn't opening that loud mouth of his, or throwing things around like an angry gorilla. Even Izaya could appreciate the protozoan's exceptional physique and face.

When he noticed the girl being encouraged to go and speak to Shizuo, Izaya felt it prime time to make an appearance.

Stealthily, slipping unnoticed behind the debt collector, Izaya slid his hand from his coat to produce the sharpened end of his blade. Which was sharper, his knife or his gaze, was debatable.

Holding a slender finger to his lips to instruct the girl to be quiet, she nodded silently, absolutely petrified.

Backing away, she returned to her friends, who were confused by the girl's sudden disinterest in the blonde.

_Works like a charm_, Izaya cooed, smirking maliciously before returning his knife to his coat pocket.

Gently, Izaya pressed himself flush against Shizuo's back, his hands sliding against his lower back. "Excuse me," he said, disguising his voice for one much deeper and near laughing when Shizuo tossed over his shoulder—

"Can't be helped."

_Oh, Shizu-chan. You make this so easy._

Turning his face towards Shizuo's neck, Izaya purposefully released a warm breath against his skin, satisfied when he felt the brute tense at the sensation.

Honestly, this could be anyone. Shizuo didn't know it was him, _obviously_, or he'd have his head slammed through the glass window by now. To Shizuo, right now there was some stranger pressed against him, touching him, and breathing intimately on his neck, and all he could muster was a slight stiffening of his body?

No, this would not do. His Shizu-chan really needed to be more self-aware, or one day he was going to have some slimy-old man groping his ass. Speaking of which…

Izaya, smirk growing into a full-fledged smile, moved his hips solidly against Shizuo's firm ass, enjoying the way the blonde shifted, clearly uncomfortable. He really did have a nice ass, which wasn't much of a shock considering he had a nice _everything._ Particularly…

A sharp breath left the blonde when a hand moved between his thighs, fingers brushing intimately along the inside of his leg. "You should be more on guard, Shizu-chan," Izaya murmured quietly, mouth hovering dangerously close to his neck. "There are perverts, ne?"

Izaya wanted to deny that feeling Shizuo relax, now that he was aware just who his perpetrator was, didn't make him slightly pleased. But quivering dangerously beneath the warm surface of that gold skin was unmistakable anger, and Izaya very near cringed when a strong hand roughly grabbed hold of his and pulled him forwards to trade their positions.

Unapologetically, because really, he wasn't sorry for copping a feel, the informant met furious leonine eyes.

Likely not wanting to make a scene, Shizuo leaned closer, his voice quiet, but shaking. "When this train stops, we're getting off," he began, that hand tightening around the pale wrist it held captive. "And then I'm going to beat the shit out of you."

Izaya didn't care either way for the threat, knowing it was only that, because even off the train there would still be hordes of people that Shizuo would be too hesitant to bring harm too. What he _was_ interested in, however, were the eyes of that small girl he'd threatened earlier who was watching him and Shizuo with quiet curiosity.

Like she still didn't _get it. _

Still smiling, Izaya returned his attention to the blonde hovering over him, his gaze intense, his body heat suffocating. Wordlessly, he leaned forward to softly suck on Shizuo's lower lip. A kiss that was quick, wet, and dripping with the message that this man was _his_.

"Do you want to die, flea?" Shizuo growled, although clearly affected as was made obvious by the flowering of pink on his cheeks.

"Not particularly," Izaya sighed, leaning dangerously closer, drawn in by the familiar smell of tobacco and cheap detergent. His head began to pound pleasantly; likely endorphins or whatever the hell that chemical was that made you feel like you were in heaven—dopamine or oxytocin, probably both. Whatever it was, it was messing with his thought process, as seemed to be the case whenever he was this close to the protozoan.

However, this wonderful feeling did little to mask the pain shooting up his arm as Shizuo tightened his grip, intentional or not, irrelevant.

"Let go, ne."

Shizuo snorted a laugh. "Hell no."

Izaya met his angry gaze, mocha eyes playful. "This is the thanks I get for saving you?"

The look of confusion and absolute suspicion on Shizuo's face was delightful. "The hell are you talking about? You were the one—" he glanced around for any obvious eavesdroppers, and dropped his voice so low that it came across unintentionally seductive, "_molesting me._"

The informant rolled his eyes. "Let's not be so dramatic, Shizu-chan. Besides…" Between them, he brushed the back of his knuckle against Shizuo's crotch, a movement that was subtle, but oh-so-very effective. "I'd say you liked it."

Knocking away the offending hand, Shizuo growled, "And I'd say you want my foot up your ass."

Izaya flashed a naughty smile. "That's kinky, even for me."

The innocent blush on the blonde's face deepened into a rich cherry, and he gritted his teeth. "Shut up."

Shizuo was so easily embarrassed sometimes, Izaya couldn't help himself. If they weren't on this train amongst all these witnesses, he'd eat him alive.

The two grew quiet, the initial excitement and façade of animosity dwindling, slowly replaced by a pleasant coziness that came with being huddled together amongst a crowd of strangers.

Eventually the grip Shizuo had on Izaya's wrist loosened, his thumb massaging it in a gesture of apology, and Izaya closed his eyes against the on flux of chemicals clouding his head with feelings of attachment and his stomach with the proverbial butterflies.

"Being groped feels gross," Shizuo commented casually. "Don't fuckin' do that again."

The words held little animosity, and Izaya found it difficult to detect any with the way Shizuo was saying all this with his mouth brushing his forehead every time the train rocked. "But Shizu-chan is so hard to resist, ne."

The blonde paused, and Izaya felt the small smile against his forehead.

"Can't be that damn hard."

Izaya held back a smile of his own. _You'd be surprised, Shizu-chan._

The train began to slow, the voice on the intercom announcing their arrival, which just so happened to be Izaya's stop.

Sighing, he met Shizuo's gaze. "Are you going home?"

"Yeah," Shizuo nodded. "Kasuka had some free time today, but got called in for some meeting or something, so…" As always, the invitation remained unspoken, only evident in the quiet expectancy in honey-hued eyes.

Reluctantly, Izaya pulled his wrist from fingers that didn't seem ready to let go just yet. "I'll be late, ne."

"You still have—"

Izaya pulled from his pocket the silver key he kept safe beside his flick blade and his phone.

Satisfaction softened the debt collector's expression, looking so perfectly content, that Izaya considered forgetting his job and staying on the train the rest of the way to Ikebukuro.

However, giving in to impulse was very human, very weak, and he couldn't have that. He'd just have to wait.

The doors swooshed open, the crowd inside exchanging itself for the one on the platform. Just before stepping off, Izaya curled his arms around those wonderfully strong shoulders and pulled Shizuo into an obscenely affectionate kiss, holding on long enough to make sure the occupants of the train got a good eyeful, long enough to know that the beautiful blonde in the bartender uniform was _his _and therefore _hands-off_.

Pulling away and jumping onto the platform just in time to watch the doors slide closed, Izaya blew a comically sweet kiss to the beet-red blonde who looked ready to bust his fist through a window.

"IIIIZAAAAYAAAAA-"

What was probably 'kun' and some combination of the words 'kill' and 'you' were lost under the sound of the train hissing just before it began to move away.

Izaya waved it goodbye, his eyes meeting those of the humans on the same cart as Shizuo, silently promising a very painful death if they even so much as dared lay a hand on what was his.

Not that he was actually worried. Because Shizu-chan was Shizu-chan, and the next person that even so much as looked at him the wrong way was about to get a literal foot up their ass.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Hello again! I'm not sure if this constitutes as a drabble, per se, but I don't consider it a one-shot. Maybe it's a mega-drabble? Either way, it was fun to write. Hope ya'll liked it. Please review! **~Merry**


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